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September 22, 2024 | 19 Elul 5784
Rabbi Erin Boxt
As the High Holy Day Period is coming upon us fast, we tend to turn our focus (internally and externally) to seeking and giving forgiveness. It is in our attempts to heal these rifts among people that we spend so much time dwelling on in the month of Elul.

Perhaps you are familiar with the musical, Hamilton. When Alexander Hamilton admits to an affair, his wife, Eliza, understandably gets angry and pushes him away. With the death of their son, Philip, something happens to the two of them and Eliza is actually able to forgive Alexander. So, which was harder - Alexander asking for forgiveness or Eliza granting it? 

It is very difficult to ask others for forgiveness, requiring humility and a true desire to listen and understand what others relate to you; it can be very hard to hear what others have to say. The act of "apologizing" carries less significance than understanding and doing better the next time around. Listening, understanding, and then changing - this is what matters...this is what counts.

Granting forgiveness? This is a personal decision; no one can expect or require something from another. In Judaism, we have a "vouchsafe" regarding forgiveness. A genuine attempt to change and apologize is required – 3 times. After the third attempt, if the forgiveness is not given, the sin/need for forgiveness transfers to the one unable to grant forgiveness. The 3 requests must be genuine and heartfelt. They cannot be just blanket statements with nothing else to follow. 

September 23, 2024 | 20 Elul 5784
Rabbi Charlie Cytron-Walker
In a debate, there’s a winner and a loser. As a result, debate is a terrible way to resolve problems or bring people together. If our goal for family, our People, or our community is to “seek peace and pursue it” (Psalms 34:15), logical (or illogical) arguments won’t lead to reconciliation or healing. Instead, we have to suffer.
Sevel in Hebrew means suffering. It’s the root of the word savlanut – patience. To be patient means we have to suffer a bit. It’s also the root of sovlanut – tolerance. To tolerate another person’s ideas (especially when we know they are clearly wrong) requires a little suffering. 
Healing conflicts often requires moving towards understanding on some level. That means we might have to suffer and tolerate views that we find uncomfortable, if not offensive. It’s not easy to approach such conversations with patience. We might get angry or triggered. 
And… if we’re not just trying to score points or show someone how right we are, if we are willing to suffer a little so we can try to fathom where someone is coming from and why they might feel the way they do, that’s when we create the space for respectful, meaningful, challenging dialogue. Genuine curiosity and an openness to learn make healing possible.
Elul encourages us to bring enough humility to acknowledge our lack of perfection. And maybe we should suffer, too. Just enough to bring a little more tolerance into our life so we can strengthen or restore our relationships.

September 24, 2024 | 21 Elul 5784
Rabbi Rony S. Keller
Elul asks us to physically engage in the daily act of listening to the sound of the shofar. 
 
“The shofar call begins with a tekiah, a long, unbroken blast; progresses to sh’varim, three wailing blasts; and finally reaches the staccato t’ru’ah. But the shofar always returns to the tekiah. That is the growth of a spirit: first holiness; then brokenness, shattering; and finally, a new, stronger wholeness.” (Rabbi David Wolpe – Floating Takes Faith)
 
As we enter Elul this year and reflect on the last year, it’s obvious that the Jewish world has changed forever. Recalling Rabbi Wolpe’s words, I believe we are still shattered or--at best--simply broken. The events of October 7th and the anti-Semitic and anti-Israel avalanche onto Am Yisrael that has ensued has created a PTSD-like effect for us all. Let’s not pretend that we are ok, because we are not. 
 
Personally, and individually, we’ve felt a sever, a rift. Further, it seems as if we’ve also encountered a rift within the Jewish community. These past months of war have divided us as an am, a people…creating dichotomies asking us to choose between eradicating Hamas and rescuing hostages.
 
Elul is the deliverer of Tishrei, marking new beginnings. And so, we must use this month to heal our rifts and remember what the shofar teaches, that the blasts begin in wholeness and end in wholeness. Let us fill Elul with listening intensely to the wholeness of the shofar blasts and pray for all rifts to be mended.

September 25, 2024 | 22 Elul 5784
Rabbi Stephen Wise
I spent two weeks in Israel this summer. This was my second visit since October 7. The first was to bear witness to the massacre. At that time I noticed a bond of solidarity among Israelis over fighting back against Hamas and rescuing hostages. Grassroots charities sprung up across the country to help take care of others and put aside past grievances. Over the past 8 months that phenomenon slowly eroded with the continued war, despair, and frustrations with the current government. In Tel Aviv we noticed three different protests at the same time a few blocks apart.

While we might not be able to fix the world’s problems, we can find paths towards each other, one relationship at a time. In one particularly emotional moment in Jerusalem, my wife and I helped prepare dinner for a group of soldiers who had finished their army service in Gaza and had a ceremony of closure before going back home. Their deep connection to each other was clear, despite differences of age or political bent. When the commander ended the ceremony by asking for forgiveness for any times he made a mistake and put them in danger, there wasn’t a dry eye. If he could admit to his limitations maybe each of us can find the space to acknowledge we might not always be right and see the goodness in everyone around us, even those we disagree with, and perhaps find ways to rebuild the rifts in our hearts and our country. 

September 26, 2024 | 23 Elul 5784
Rabbi Brad Levenberg
The slow trickle of time has the potential to turn streams into lakes. Consider the story of Mr. Brown, a widower in metro Atlanta, Georgia. He had a dream of a large pond in a recessed part of his property. Tragically, he died before his dream could be realized. The company he hired to design the project was negligent, leaving a hose running as they stepped away from the job. The Brown descendants, grieving their loss, left the property to rest, and the once beautiful landscaping became overgrown. When finally, after 12 years, they had an appraiser inspect the acreage, they found that, due to the hose, rainfall, and a topographical anomaly, the “large pond” had turned into a healthy lake deep and wide enough for paddle boating and fishing. 
 
So it is with the minor rifts that tether us to our upset. Left unchecked, and with the passage of time, such tiny trickles can turn into large lakes or moats. Small breaches in relationships transform into fissures when unresolved. But what a gift we are given with these months of Elul! They offer us a unique opportunity to heal those rifts that we can, to address the hurts that, even if lingering for years, have turned into lakes when they have always been streams. 
 
May we embrace the gift of this time to take the action needed to let go of what we can and, even more bravely, to heal that which we have the power to heal.

September 27, 2024 | 24 Elul 5784
Cantor David Berger
If you've ever been in a beit midrash (a traditional Jewish study hall), you know it's anything but quiet. Unlike a typical Western library, which it might physically resemble with its rows of bookshelves and study tables, a beit midrash is loud and lively. While Western learning often idealizes the solitary scholar, quietly reading and taking notes, the Jewish model of learning thrives on conversation and even confrontation between study partners. A study partner, often called a chevruta (from chaver, meaning “friend”), is also known as a bar plugta – a “sparring mate.” At its core, Jewish study is about the clash of individual understandings of sacred texts, rather than the smooth transmission of preexisting knowledge.
Avot D’rebbe Natan, an early rabbinic text based on Pirkei Avot, says: “When three people sit and engage in Torah together, the Holy Blessed One considers it as if they had become one unified troop (agudah achat) before God” (8:4). This agudah achat is unified not because they all think alike, but because their disagreements and constant sparring lead to a deeper understanding of each other. If only our public, political, communal, and global arguments could achieve the same. Our High Holy Day Amidah prays that all humanity may join together in agudah achat, “a unified troop,” to do God’s will with a complete heart. May we indeed find understanding in disagreement and grow in knowledge and wisdom through holy confrontation and conversation.

September 28, 2024 | 25 Elul 5784
Rabbi Michael Weinstein
Each day of Elul we are given the opportunity to reflect, heal, and change in prep for the High Holy Days and Yom Kippur. We often read Psalm 27 in s’lichot practice: 
 
The first half of the psalm conveys assurance. The second half of the psalm depicts a world opposite. The clear inclusion: the name of God opens and closes the first half.
Throughout the second half, the reader hears the echo of the central term: One. For us as Jews, this is ideal preparation for the work of Elul. Before we can approach repentance or the joy of the Holy Day, we must honestly confront again our own faith and belief. 
 
The psalmist testifies that love of God is achieved through effort, honesty, and open confrontation. The psalm demands oneness, reflecting an integration of difficult circumstances and security. First, we wrestle with our inner strife; only then may we approach our relationships with others. This work is all in the preparation for making things right with God.
 
Questions we might ask:

• How strong and open are our hearts? 
• How are they blocked by anger, sadness, fear, or shame? 
• Are our thoughts, feelings, and actions in alignment with our ideals? 
• How well can we love the ones who are close, or bring closer the ones from whom we’ve drifted away? 
• Elul is the season of love – a time to reconnect with our best selves and to open ourselves to the God who summons us to a better life.